![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Therapy Log
Mar. 23rd, 2004 09:36 amThings are so much better now.
Last night, I traded in my dampening collar for a new form of dampening. This one lets enough of my power in to stabilize my own emotions, but not enough for me to actually _do_ anything. And instead of it being some gauche an disgusting collar, it's a snazzy bracelet. A little heavy on the wrist, but no worse than a good Swiss timepiece.
I can see, but not touch. It will have to be enough. And even the seeing is blurry, fuzzy, indistinct. The colors aren't as crisp as they used to be, they look - faded.
It is _amazing_ how much better I feel. My head is clear, I'm not living in the black fog of depression (much...), and I can be _me_ again.
It's even easier to think and write in English.
I never thought I would say this, but a doctor has actually done me some good. Thank you.
Samson tells me I still have to do my three independent emotions, so I will.
Emotion #1: Relief. Distinct, overwhelming relief. The colors are still there, people actually are as they should be, and I'm not drowning in my own isolation anymore.
Emotion #2: Marie. I owe you an apology for getting all maudlin on you like that. It was unbecoming of a de la Rocha to bawl like a baby like that. I feel shame. And some concern that this will be used against me at some point.
Emotion #3: Shinobi. You are back in town, yes? Good. I would like to watch another film, or just sit and talk. I have missed my friend.
Manuel de la Rocha
Last night, I traded in my dampening collar for a new form of dampening. This one lets enough of my power in to stabilize my own emotions, but not enough for me to actually _do_ anything. And instead of it being some gauche an disgusting collar, it's a snazzy bracelet. A little heavy on the wrist, but no worse than a good Swiss timepiece.
I can see, but not touch. It will have to be enough. And even the seeing is blurry, fuzzy, indistinct. The colors aren't as crisp as they used to be, they look - faded.
It is _amazing_ how much better I feel. My head is clear, I'm not living in the black fog of depression (much...), and I can be _me_ again.
It's even easier to think and write in English.
I never thought I would say this, but a doctor has actually done me some good. Thank you.
Samson tells me I still have to do my three independent emotions, so I will.
Emotion #1: Relief. Distinct, overwhelming relief. The colors are still there, people actually are as they should be, and I'm not drowning in my own isolation anymore.
Emotion #2: Marie. I owe you an apology for getting all maudlin on you like that. It was unbecoming of a de la Rocha to bawl like a baby like that. I feel shame. And some concern that this will be used against me at some point.
Emotion #3: Shinobi. You are back in town, yes? Good. I would like to watch another film, or just sit and talk. I have missed my friend.
Manuel de la Rocha
